highlight reel 2023
The word for this past year was “simplify” and when I initially reflected on the last 12 months, I felt more like I was failing (or maybe even flailing) than flourishing. Our year seemed packed to the gills, full of fun but oh-so busy. We had sports games and road trips and family visits and school and..and…and… But when I was honest with myself – simplifying is a lifestyle, a daily choice, a marathon of moments, and a constant family decision. I didn’t fail, I’ve only just started. We made great strides in finding an annual “groove” for us. We’ve identified the activities we most enjoy in each season and we put them on the schedule first. Slowly, we’ve found a basic rhythm for our week that has spots for church and school and chores and friends. I consider those victories!
And in no particular order, these are some of my favorite pieces of the last 365-day puzzle!
1. Being home with Asher for his first year. Even in my wildest dreams, I would not have imagined a life where I continue to pursue my professional goals, work, and be home for Asher (and all the kids) like I’ve been able to do for the past four years. It is a daily juggle (and we have the most amazing help in our Ms. Amber), but one I would never trade. This fits for us right now. My lunch breaks are often filled with snuggles and giggles, my commute is minimized, and my mornings and afternoons allow me extra time to spend with the kids or take care of chores that would otherwise keep me occupied until late into the night. *To be noted- life is extra full and the day-to-day feels like a complete grind, but I would choose this way over any alternative again and again.
2. Watching the sibling relationships grow. I think this has to be one of my favorite parts of parenthood. Each of the kids brings their own spiciness to the table. Jeremiah is our resident ball player, often sitting and playing softball/basketball/football with everyone. Lilly is a little mama and rule enforcer. You can find her giving kisses and snuggles, but also making sure Mom and Dad know when Asher is throwing trucks into the toilet or secretly climbing the furniture. Aiden is our tender-hearted, snuggly, rule follower. He looks up tremendously to Lilly and loves playing with her and all her older friends. Asher is endearingly named “Smasher” and will be our biggest challenge yet. He is strong-willed, vocal, stands his ground with the older kids, and is often found throwing his toys or pushing Aiden out of his face (because Aiden can never kiss him enough). We love watching them grow into little humans!
3. Building community in our neighborhood. We are incredibly thankful for the relationships we’ve forged these last 8 years in our amazing local community. We feel blessed to have people who would step in (and already have!) to care for the kids in some way, gather mail when we are out of town, share our nanny, enjoy dinner and drinks, or join us in a Fourth of July front yard bash. This picture below is probably my favorite of the year (big statement!) because most of these people have been a big part of keeping us afloat and encouraging us in some way. This “village” of ours is truly incredible.
4. Date Weekend to Delaware – Jeremy and I had a relaxing, fun-filled excursion to Dewey Beach for our first time this past July. We slept, we relaxed on the beach, found amazing brunch and seafood spots, and my fav- went paddle boarding together! Shoutout to my parents who held down the fort and spoiled the kids this weekend and SO many weekends to support our marriage and family.
5. I set some personal goals this year including 1) to read one book a month and 2) get back into working as a Nurse Practitioner. I’m pleased to report I met those and am super proud of myself for making time for my passions and what I love (outside of my favorite people!). In a season where it is easy to be lost in the day to day, I am grateful for the stamina that allowed me to push for what I need and want to be filled up.
6. This year we established (and continued others) some pretty wonderful, but simple family routines and traditions that we haven’t been able to accomplish in years past. Friday night pizza/popcorn nights are a new fan fav. One Saturday a month is “Donuts and {Home} Depot with Dad” Day. The kids look forward to those strawberry and sprinkle donuts with Jeremy all week! Lilly and I have a quarterly salon day where we get haircuts followed by burgers and milkshakes. We are thinking of calling it “S Squared” for salon and {milk}shakes for fun!
7. Birthdays! 16, 10, 3, and ONE! Jeremiah is in 11th grade and driving, Lilly is in 4th grade and a social butterfly, Aiden started preschool part-time and loves all things alphabet and numbers, and Asher is home and learning every nook and cranny of the playgrounds in the neighborhood.
8. Exploring NYC – We have taken full advantage of having family live right outside the city. This year we conquered the Bronx Zoo, seeing floats before the Macy’s Day Parade, and the NYC Museum of Natural History.
9. Bucket List Updates! We had the opportunity to cross off two local adventures from our family bucket list – The National Aquarium and The Air and Space Museum!
10. Extracurriculars! This was our first year with two kids in activities. Lilly is in her second year of chorus through her school and played both the spring and fall softball leagues. She’s not sure softball is her favorite, so we may be trying something new this spring. Aiden played on his first soccer team and excelled at chasing the herd of other 3 and 4 year olds, but Mom and Dad were pleased with the energy expenditure! Somehow, even Mom got roped into a sport- being named Aiden’s “Head” Soccer Coach!
If you made it this far, hoping and praying all of our family and friends have had their own memorable 2023 and are ready for a wonderful 2024! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!
highlight reel 2022
In no particular order other than my nostalgic scroll through my camera roll, here are my favorite moments of 2022. If I were to describe this year in three words, it would be growth, stretching, and F-U-N!
Our Gender Reveal – Jeremy and I found out rather quickly I was pregnant when around mid-December of 2021, I started to get the feeling that I should take residence in the bathroom over the toilet… permanently. The first few months were pretty rough with nausea and fatigue, but somehow, we managed to keep our little secret until March, when we could all be together. Jeremy and I planned a little reveal for the kids in a park just outside of DC. We ate our cheeseburgers, got in a little soccer game, and watched the airplanes flying closely overhead. Then, the kids all got little presents to open where they found an ultrasound picture of their newest sibling! We knew their first question would be whether it was a boy or girl, so we also included confetti cannons to pop right afterwards. It was such a sweet moment!
Aiden’s Dedication – Having our whole crew together as we dedicated Aiden to the Lord was really important to us. We asked a dear friend, Dr. Julie Reams, to perform the dedication in our home and it was an intimate, meaningful, and memorable time for our family and close friends. We incorporated the verse God gave to me before he was born: Job 11:8, “The sky is no limit for God, but it lies beyond your reach…” and Dr. Julie shared her verse she prayed over Aiden’s life as Jeremiah 17:7-8, “For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes…”
Lilly got her black belt in Taekwondo! This girl worked incredibly hard physically, mentally, and emotionally to overcome her fears (she had to perform alone in front of a group of people she didn’t know!), push her body to the limit (she ran two miles and did 100 push-ups and sit-ups!), and made herself proud. This goal took her YEARS and we were honored to watch her perseverance and strength.
The kitchen renovation – I’ve had a dream to open up our kitchen floor plan since we bought our home years ago. I could visualize Christmas cookie cutting, making dinner while watching the kids play in the room in front of me, hosting different parties…. but the timing for the massive destruction of walls was never quite right. Guess what? The timing is never right for renovations! HA! So we just made the leap and are so grateful! Well… mostly grateful. There was definitely an inconvenience piece that cannot be overlooked, but the end goal was worth the squeeze. If you’re ever in need of an interior designer or contractor, let me know! We had the best.
Lake Tahoe – WHAT. A. DREAM. Early in 2022, I found out my close friend, Katherine, was taking a travel nursing position out in Reno, NV. My pregnancy nausea had started to subside {…slightly…} and I started to daydream about traveling again. Lake Tahoe has been on my personal bucket list since I came back from living overseas in Europe. I realized there was SO much I had yet to see in my home country, so I made a “Must See” for the good ol’ USA. Tahoe was pretty high at the top of that list! Somehow, all the stars aligned and the days I was available to go were the cheapest flying days AND her days off. Then, BAM! The flight was booked and the itinerary was set into motion by none other than my bestie herself! If you know Kat, you know it was a jam-packed whirlwind of a vacation and I loved every moment with her. I tried to narrow down my favorite breathtaking spots, but there were just too many! A special shoutout to my INCREDIBLE husband for supporting me and holding down the home front solo. I left Tahoe feeling so refreshed, rejuvenated, and filled up from all the little things – drinking a full cup of HOT coffee from a ceramic mug, eating an entire meal uninterrupted, having a conversation without my brain in multiple places, and soaking up the beauty of different surroundings. Water + mountains? BLISSFUL!
Outside time! While I didn’t set an official goal, I knew in the back of my mind, I wanted to focus on getting into the fresh, open air as much as possible this year. The outside helps us reset, burn some energy, and change up our routine with new sticks to find and paths to discover! There were countless playground trips, bike rides, creek visits, flower finding, strawberry picking, hayride moments that are etched into my memory of this year.
Jersey Adventures! We always love our time with our NJ family and friends. This visit, the kids got to experience their first Yankees game and we all enjoyed Nickelodeon Universe! We spent the warm days catching up with our Rivera family by the pool, playing basketball, and grilling out on the patio. The cousins played and we all ate too much!
Annual beach vacation – Somehow, we managed to fit it all our summer fun (but barely!) before Asher joined the family! Towards the end of my third trimester, we snuck to North Carolina to get in one last adventure as a family of five (plus Nana, Papa + Unca’ Ben!). There is something so calming about this trip – the predictability, the tradition of it all. We have our “things” that we always try to fit in and this year was no exception. We soaked up the sun and played in the sand, we got in a round of minigolf, took entirely too many post-dinner trips to Booty Treats, and jumped in the pool over and over again.
ASHER LEEAM! On August 16th, our sweet Asher made his way into the world! I was blessed with my second wonderful and smooth labor and delivery experience. Our friend Paula, was my nurse and I had the same amazing midwife deliver Asher who brought Aiden safely into the world. She is AMAZING (and cracks jokes on Jeremy that make him speechless which is hard to do!) Asher has already started to show us his little personality with frequent grins and giggles, a strong will {to avoid sleep or bedtime at the moment}, and a playful demeanor. He has been accepted by his siblings with arms wide open and one of my favorite parts of every morning is when Aiden comes downstairs and says, “Good morning Asher! You sleep good?” Lilly and Jeremiah have taken on their roles effortlessly as the sound of them chasing Aiden is often heard around the house if we feed or tend to Asher.
Parental Leave and Work Flexibilities – The last two and a half years have far exceeded all of my expectations. Jeremy and I both work full time and have been blessed with unbelievable parental leave and options to maximize our time at home as a family. Without these, many of my favorite memories just could not or would not have been possible. We do not take any of our time for granted and look forward to pursuing our professional passions while also being able to love our family well in this next year.
If you’ve made it this far, Happy New Year! We are praying and believing for all of the miracles you’ve claimed for 2023!
highlight reel 2021
Better late than never! I started this over two years ago and it’s been bugging me that I never put the polishing touches on it. So… here we go with all its imperfections and unruly disruption of the order of these highlight posts!
1. Jeremy and I loved starting the new year off as a family of 5! It was our first full year as parents of three beautiful children and our hearts are grateful for the smiles, tears, growth, and joy that they all bring to our marriage and our lives.
2. Jeremy and I shared SIX years of marriage this year and celebrated with a local getaway to share a meal and deep conversation (oh how I do love these!) over a beautiful fire overlooking the countryside. The season of COVID certainly helped to slow us down and appreciate the smaller moments shared together and this was one of my favorites.
3. This year was unique in that we were all home doing virtual school or teleworking. While I believe the majority of folks would agree this arrangement came with some surprising advantages and incredible challenges, when weighed together, our family came out humbled and victorious. We were able to do some traveling to see family at a time typically limited by the school year and share more quality moments normally impacted by the grind of a daily work commute.
4. Aiden gained some serious mobility and turned O-N-E! There are no words to describe how quickly this year flew by! I’m so grateful I was able to be home for all of it.
5. Seeing Lilly’s community of girlfriends grow! and watching her excel in tae kwon do – COVID gave us the opportunity to walk and play outside near our house so much more – which provided the chance to meet our neighbors doing the same things! We are blessed with some amazing little ladies (and young men!) around us!
6. Getting to take Jeremiah to his first UVA football game!
7. Gathering with family – Being away from each other for what felt like so many special holidays and celebrations has us incredibly grateful to be back together again for all of them!
8. Our Deck – I have always wanted an inviting area outside to extend our hosting space. This year, we were blessed to get to invest into the process of tearing down our old deck and building a newer, more functional, and considerably safer space for all of us. We have a fun new spot to eat, invite neighbors and friends, and chase balls around!
9. Missouri Trip – Jeremy and I took a trip out to St. Louis and enjoyed a short visit with Jeremiah, incredible 1:1 time together, and amazing food. I’ve also always wanted to mark off the Arch from my Bucket List and we were able to do it!
10. Summer adventures to New Jersey, the beach, Sesame Place, and Hershey Park!
highlight reel 2020
Some people are probably rolling their eyes at the thought of a “highlight reel” in 2020. I might even have given this title a glare myself at first. I get it. Our perspectives and personal opinions vary. Our situations and circumstances are different. That is not lost on me. We are living in the midst of a pandemic, racial oppression, astounding division, and often polarizing politics. The tension is tangible and it takes a toll. For all these reasons and more, I’ve felt strongly about focusing on what these past 12 months have GIVEN me and not what they have taken away. At the end of the day, 2020 has been good to our family. I am certainly not naive enough to think this is true for everyone or even a vast majority of people, but I pray as we ring in the new year, we can all rally around moving into 2021 loving greater, seeking unity, and giving grace. (And maybe even finding a few things to be grateful!)
Here’s my list in no particular order:
Celebrating 5 years with my guy – I can hardly believe it’s been 5 years since we said “I do,” but I guess I should have known we hit some sort of longevity milestone when we bought each other the EXACT same card! Not kidding. We shared a good laugh as we opened our envelopes. They weren’t even “5 year” cards! That day, I enjoyed taking time to inventory our adventures, victories, and favorite memories as a couple. To a million and five more years together babe, I love ya! (And boy oh boy am I excited for our next trip!)
Completing my project at George Mason to put adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and trauma-informed care into the graduate school curriculum – That is a whole lotta words to say my heart and my head connected in such a monumental way during the completion of my degree this year. I’ve spent countless hours wondering why people turn out to be who they are and what impacts those changes in people. (Yes, nature and nurture. Got it. But more specifics were needed to satisfy me!) During the last year of my doctorate, I got to focus on one of those reasons. I have always been passionate about the importance of our childhood and how different experiences create different children (and adults!). My research led me to look into childhood trauma and how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) impact the health of adults. I could nerd out on you with pages and pages of text, but suffice it to say that if you’ve never read about them, check them out. Many people know and believe trauma can impact our emotional health. However, one significant statistic I learned that still captivates me as I type it is that FIVE of the top ten leading causes of death in the U.S. are associated with childhood trauma. That’s our PHYSICAL health, not just emotional health. Kind of a big deal if we want to look at that with prevention eyes… So to ensure every nurse gets the same knowledge and insight, I wanted the material to be incorporated into the curriculum for nursing students. And now it is!
Of course after all that work, becoming a Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) and being able to practice as a Family Nurse Practitioner was a proud moment. For awhile before I applied to graduate school, I felt antsy. I love learning. I felt stagnant. I realized I was a nurse who wanted more – I wanted to achieve the highest degree awarded in my field, to break the glass ceiling for our children and my peers who may question if they’re “good enough” or “smart enough” or whatever “enough,” and most of all – to make a lasting impact on healthcare wherever I take my next step. Sure, you can do all those things without a doctorate, but I’m thankful for the relationships, tools, and experiences these last four years have given me both personally and professionally.
Home Renovations – With the extra time spent at home, we’ve conquered so many fun house projects! The list of changes is long, but probably my favorite is the conversion of our spare bedroom/office into Aiden’s nursery and subsequent renovation of the basement to make space for our new in-law suite. It turned out beautiful! Jeremy is 100% responsible for it all because my belly was large, my balance was horrible, and my tolerance for any smell was minimal!
Baby celebrations – We were so blessed to have amazing family and friends create two incredibly fun, socially distanced, safe, and heartwarming baby showers for us. After being so isolated for the early months of my pregnancy, it was an incredible joy to see our loved ones as they came through the drive-by showers. If you are reading this and came, you have no idea how much that impacted my heart and rejuvenated my spirit!
North Carolina – We chose to get away for a week in the summer with my parents (Nana and Papa!) and the kids to our own private beach house and pool. It was just what our souls needed! Ocean air, poolside fun, sunny weather, and all the shaved ice we could muster! Jeremiah and Lilly set some pool swimming goals for themselves which they both met. We took a fishing boat out to catch our dinner (and then some!). It felt nice to feel some normalcy in the summer season by safely keeping vacation in our schedule.
Summer! What an amazing time we had! So many outdoor activities, kitchen experiments, and 24/7 time together. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way! The kids got to enjoy watching my belly grow through months 7, 8, and 9, share in the excitement of our baby shower, and be here for Aiden’s birth. These are sweet memories I will always cherish.
Meeting Aiden – An entire post couldn’t sum up my phenomenal birth experience and meeting Aiden. What I will say is there could not have been a more smooth pregnancy or delivery. I even had a nurse friend come in on her day off to help with my delivery and recovery! Paula, you’re amazing. We were incredibly blessed. (Postpartum is another conversation. There were a few bumps… haha.) Leading up to my due date, I did all the things – drank the tea, bounced on a medicine ball, took loooooong walks, ate dates, pumped – if it was in the book of natural ways to induce labor, I did it. AND IT WORKED! (Or not, but I like to think my hard work paid off!) I honestly have never felt healthier than when I delivered Aiden. One of my favorite parts of bringing Aiden home was being able to have a short time as a family of FIVE. It will forever be at the top of my “answered prayers” in this season and honestly, in life. No weapon formed against us will ever prosper and God showed up and showed off!
Christmas – I can actually pinpoint my favorite day of 2020. It was December 25, 2020. I have the day etched in my memory. We got up, opened presents, soaked in all the excitement and magic, big fluffy snowflakes started falling outside, Jeremy cooked breakfast (his famous homemade waffles!) while the kids played, and Aiden napped in my arms. We watched holiday movies, ate popcorn, and snuggled the day away. I wouldn’t change a single moment and I’m grateful for that memory to be Aiden’s first Christmas. We all can’t wait to tell him about it.
Last, but certainly not least: COVID – It’s odd. Reflecting back on 2020, I realized some of my favorite highlights of the last 365 days were the moments in between all the “big stuff.” COVID-19 brought with it these glorious opportunities for connection by slowing down the pace of life and forcing intentionality in our relationships. Some of the best moments were taking walks/bike rides with Jeremy and the kids or other family and friends. Connection may have been overshadowed at times by feeling claustrophobic spending time in the same space for so long or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of filling the roles of teacher, daycare, cook, cleaner, worker, spouse, parent, and the list goes on – but my honest prayer is that people were fortunate enough to appreciate and soak up the extra memories of togetherness. I know we did! We raised butterflies from caterpillars, baked homemade bread, made rainbow spaghetti, built a birdhouse and gazed at the birds outside, drew a sidewalk “obstacle course,” grew closer to our neighbors who spent equal amounts of time outside, invented water sports in the yard, had movie marathons, and loved more simply.
For all these reasons and more, I will cherish 2020 for what it gave to our family. Wishing you a blessed and wonderful 2021 from our crew to yours!
highlight reel 2019
The first year Jeremy and I were married, I started an annual tradition of documenting the year through a “highlight reel” of our favorite ten memories. (Let it be known – this was inspired by Sports Center’s Top Ten Plays of the Day and I have no shame.) It has become something I cherish, loving to look back and reflect on the growth, strength, and tenacity of our family and friends, all while placing a nice proverbial bow on the gift of the previous year’s journey.
I have said it before and I will say it again – this has been my absolute favorite year as a family of four. Building our legacy, pouring into the kids, and living in every moment has been an honor and a joy. Here are our top ten memories in no particular order.
1) Jeremy and I took a trip out to Las Vegas and California. For as long as I can remember, the Pacific Coast Highway has been on my bucket list. When I lived overseas, there were multiple gorgeous coastal roadways that inspired my desire to explore my own country; Australia’s Great Ocean Road and Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way to name my favorites. *If you spend any significant time in either of those spots, definitely try them out for yourself! Jeremy and I spent a short time on the Vegas strip, long enough to enjoy the sunshine, lights, and food (but not long enough to lose any money!). Afterwards, we flew out to California and started our journey in San Francisco. When we were upgraded to a waterfront room at our first hotel, we should have known we were in for a treat! Over the course of the week, we drove from the Golden Gate Bridge, down to Half Moon Bay, Monterey, Carmel, and turning around when we made it to Big Sur. I like to say we ate our way down Route 1 because the AMAZING food was definitely memorable for us. At the end of the trip, we returned back to San Francisco before flying out. The city sights are Jeremy’s favorite so we stayed right by Fisherman’s Wharf, going to see the seals at Pier 39 and taking a tour of Alcatraz Island. I like to think Jeremy and I have perfected our balance of “city time” (for him) and “country time” (for me) when we travel.
2) The University of Virginia won the National Championship in basketball, the Nationals won the World Series, and UVA finally defeated Virginia Tech in their annual football rivalry game! One of the many threads that weave our family together is a love of sports. We enjoy going to the games, following our favorite teams on television, and having a friendly competition during March Madness or Fantasy Football time. Getting to see two of our favorite teams win their respective titles was likely a once-in-a-lifetime for us. These two victories were made even more special – for Christmas, Nana and Papa took Jeremiah to his first UVA basketball game and he was able to see the championship team rack up 100 points early in the season. This summer, we went to our first Nationals game as a family of four before they became World Champions!
3) The four-year journey to my doctorate continues. I finished another year this past summer and successfully passed my Family Nurse Practitioner Board Certification in June. I do not believe there are adequate words for the gratitude I have for an amazing support system. Working and completing this degree has been challenging to say the least, but we have managed and it will be finished in one semester! I am looking forward to the opportunities that will be possible because of the clinical and project management experience I have gained during this time.
4) Our family put an exciting twist on our annual beach vacation to North Carolina with my parents and all went to Florida this year! In the midst of our quality time with Nana and Papa, we managed to sneak in trips to both Universal Studios and Disney World while we were there. We ate seafood, played lacrosse and built sand castles on the beach, caught up with our sister (my sister-in-love) and nephews, searched for the perfect seashell, and relaxed in the evenings together. There were snuggles, soccer competitions, and gorgeous family dinners overlooking the water from our beach house. I think we would all agree we loved the change in atmosphere, but look forward to our tradition again soon.
5) After spending time with the Ponton side of the family, we made our way north to New Jersey for the Fourth of July to visit with the Riveras. We spent the majority of our time outside in the pool, only coming out to watch Toy Story 4, eat, or play board games! There were intense competitions of water basketball and volleyball, slam dunk contests, and sing-offs. Jeremy put on a beautiful firework display while we ate dessert poolside. It was my idea of the perfect summer night – exhausted from swimming, belly full of grilled goodness, surrounded by family and friends, thankful for such a wonderful time together.
Following our adventures in New Jersey, we decided to make a pit stop in Philadelphia to visit friends and show the kids parts of the city. Jeremiah was interested in “Rocky” so we thought it would be the perfect opportunity for him to visualize scenes from the movie and get a feel for running those stairs! Best of all, we got to see our amazing “framily,” Jason, Amiee, Ryleigh, and Zach. For some reason, Chipotle and ice cream tastes so much better in the company of great people who have supported Jeremy and I through the joyful and challenging moments of our marriage.
6) Lilly started Kindergarten and Jeremiah started 7th grade! We are so proud of the kids and how well they are doing both in our home and at school. They amaze us on a regular basis. I would be remiss if I did not say some of my favorite moments this past fall have been the walks with Lilly to and from the elementary school. I love the opportunity it gives for me to personally take a moment to clear my mind and be outside, but even more – the door it opens for conversation and dialogue about the school/work day. This is when I get the scoop from school…if you know what I mean. 😉
7) Celebrating birthdays together! We take any excuse to celebrate and birthdays are the perfect opportunity. This year was a special one because we spent three of them together! We do not take that for granted in our blended family scenario. In June, we got to surprise Jeremiah with a trip to Universal Studios before he’s officially a TEENAGER! We have embraced gifting experiences to the kids and while I believe they still LOVE opening a physical present and finding new toys, etc, they are coming around to the idea of enjoying each other and making new memories. For Jeremy’s birthday in August, we decided on Duck Donuts (of course!) and crab legs. So, while the boys cracked crab legs, the girls giggled and ate our own {easy-to-eat} seafood! For my birthday, Jeremy took me to the mountains and my heart was full for weeks. I love the breathtaking views and open air of the Blue Ridge Parkway. For Lilly’s birthday, she asked for a Toy Story party with some of her girlfriends. She absolutely loves being the life of the party, soaking up her “Happy birthdays…” and social butterfly-ing her way around the house as the hostess. Jeremy and I agree we enjoy watching Lilly’s joy during her party more than the party itself.
8) Mom and Dad Ponton turned 60! This year, my parents both celebrated a pretty big birthday themselves! While the majority of their year is spent serving others in some capacity, my brother Ben and I wanted to honor their lives and their sacrifices for us and so many others. They give of their time and talent to work, church, family, neighbors, and friends – opening their home for gatherings, cooking or BBQing for various events and people, moving their children into new houses, doing yard work for those who cannot, and in general – loving everyone so well. Miraculously, Ben and I were able to get a large group of our family and friends to surprise them at a nice little restaurant in Charlottesville for dinner.
9) The whole Ponton/Rivera clan got together for Thanksgiving! Without a doubt, some of my favorite times are when we gather around the table as a family. I volunteered to host this year and cooked my very first turkey (with parental oversight) from start to finish! We spent the day eating, baking, watching football, and making turkey gingerbread. Jeremiah made his first corn pudding and ate a huge turkey leg while Lilly enjoyed supervising and scoffing down her own share of turkey!
10) We continue cozy-ing our home! I cannot boast about Jeremy enough when it comes to our house. He has done a phenomenal job of making my visions for different rooms come to life. Over the years, he has redone Jeremiah’s room, the laundry room, bathroom, living room, and this year …. completely redid Lilly’s room and managed to do a bit of an overhaul to our dining room just in time for Thanksgiving. The ceiling, walls, lighting, and furniture have all been updated and he is responsible for 95% of it! I can’t wait to share what the changes will be in the upcoming year! I already have some visions and we’ve started on our “list!”
If you’ve made it this far, we are wishing a beautiful new year to all of our family and friends, praying God’s blessing and favor over your each and every day. Until next time…
highlight reel 2018: laying the foundation
I decided last week that I wouldn’t be writing a highlight reel for 2018. To be honest, it has been a hard year. Most of it feels stolen by the grief of losing our niece and seeing so many changes as a result.
Today, I sat down as I do every year to listen for what God says my “word” will be for the next 365 days. I tried to focus on the future of 2019, but it felt like I left 2018 hanging open, unprocessed, untied, loose, without closure. I felt like I could not move forward without tying up my loose ends of emotions about 2018.
So here I am; preparing to tell you about the beautiful parts of 2018, the silver linings of a year I will never forget, and the fruit of our tragedy. In no particular order, these are the pieces of 2018 that I want to choose to remember and file away for safe keeping when I go back to read these posts decades from now.
- Jeremy and I took an amazing anniversary trip to Dominican Republic. Between both of us being in school, work, and the pull of busy life, we chose to get away to reconnect and talk about what was next for us. We marked off a couple “bucket list” items and will not soon forget the crystal clear waters, snorkeling, seafood, and lounging.
2. The continuing process of Rivera-izing our home and making it ours. We have made some great changes and introduced some practical additions (think: handmade pantry for all my kitchen goodies!) to make daily life easier. We have some lofty goals for this year so I will keep you posted.
3. Jeremy’s cap and gown graduation put the proverbial icing {and sprinkles} on a cake that we were beyond elated to see completed. We spent the day with family, celebrating his perseverance, dedication, and successful employment in the career field dear to his heart.
4. Our annual family travels took us back to our traditional beach vacation and onward to New York City. As the kids get older, road trips become more and more fun because they’re filled with {accidental} karaoke, car games, fascinating questions, and open space for dialogue. I look forward to the unexpected fun they bring to every activity. We also were blessed to get some great time with both sides of the family.
5. After a long journey, we are encouraged and grateful that our family will be able to spend more guaranteed time together. Jeremy and I have spent much of the beginning of 2019 thanking God for this blessing specifically.
6. In December, I surpassed the halfway mark of clinical hours for my doctoral program. My 30-something self would like to go back to 2007 and tell my 20-something self that college without the responsibilities of adulthood is a CAKE WALK. Completing a degree while working and helping to manage a home and family is not for the faint of heart. I have given myself multiple pep talks and gone on numerous hunts for my big girl pants over the course of the last 2+ years…
7. Celebrating birthdays (and celebrating in general!) is near and dear to my heart. I love the thought of honoring a person’s life or dreams or accomplishments or milestones – especially when the person has impacted my own life in such a powerful way. Thankfully, my people know how much I enjoy them as well.
8. The Christmas season was such a special time for us this year. It was a monumental time for us as a family of 4 and we very much anticipated the joy of all things Christmas {in no order of priority} – baking cookies, seeing Santa, spending time with family, the nativity and story of Jesus’ birth, finding snow, playing board games, watching Christmas movies, and eating ALL OF THE FOOD. Don’t worry – we needed no help and managed to do it all. 😉
9. Most of this year is defined by those times before the accident that took Miranda’s life and those times afterwards. I have had a hard time wrapping up a “highlight reel” when there is a gaping hole in our hearts. However, I know God clearly defines for us – “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…” Ecclesiastes 3:4.
In fact, a few highlights of this year came about because of Miranda. She has had such a profound influence on the world and even in death, she brought so many people together. Jeremiah and Lilly got to spend time with both sets of their paternal great grandparents in the same room during this time. It was a beautiful gift in the midst of great sadness.
10. One of the most influential highlights of this year was being faced with the reality of life and death. In just a brief moment, our lives changed forever and it forced me to evaluate the way I live, who and what matters, and to ask myself the hard questions. If tomorrow were my last day, would God (would I?) be pleased with the way I closed out yesterday? I mean, regularly I yell to myself at the driver who waits until the last second to cut over and almost take my hood off … or I truly believe the world might end if I don’t get the dishes finished TONIGHT … or that Jeremy has intentionally left his socks on the floor again just because I told him it was my pet peeve … or because my assignment isn’t perfect that I’ll fail as a clinician. Miranda has forced me to remember to keep the heart of a child, to believe the best in people (but use wisdom in all things), to find the fun in every situation, and to enjoy the smallest of gifts because we have another day together.
Wishing you and yours a blessed and memorable 2019! Until next year…
40 years.
This past weekend, I went home to celebrate my uncle’s forty (yes, forty) years of service to the United States Army. In honor of his incredible achievement and the impact he has had on my own life, my Aunt Lori asked me to write him a letter. I read (more like slobbered through in very ugly tears) this letter at his retirement party, but thought some of you might enjoy seeing it here.
Dear Uncle (Sergeant Major/SGM) Wayne,
The beginning of our relationship {based on my 2-3 year old little girl memory} started over my incessant requests to be “fwipped” (translated flipped) between your knees and over your shoulders. Every holiday, Sunday at church, or otherwise, I associated you with “fwips” and piggyback rides and F-U-N – always lots of fun! You would play frisbee or softball or hide & seek with all of us — whatever our game of choice was at the time without hesitating. As I got older, you continued to be Uncle Fun, but we also had some pretty memorable and serious chats. During high school, I specifically remember your preparation to deploy to Iraq. I was 101% positive I wanted to be a nurse even back then so I asked you, “What happens if you get hurt while you’re away in Iraq?” You reassured me there were Army nurses deployed with you who would help care for any injured soldier. You said they would be part of a hospital unit specifically designed with a mission to help wounded service members and that anyone trained as a nurse could do that if they signed up to be in the Army. I didn’t realize it then, but in hindsight, that small nugget got tucked deep into my little brain and left an imprint I couldn’t shake.
Fast forward about a year – I got accepted into UVa’s School of Nursing. And a few months after that, I got a letter in the mail from UVa’s Army ROTC program. It said, “Try us out. We will pay for your tuition for a year and if you don’t like it, there’s no obligation.” To be quite honest, all I read was “free money” so I decided to try it out. That conversation we had about Army nursing was still running around in my head. My first few weeks at college, I took an Army Physical Fitness Test – unbeknownst to me – it would be the first of many. I spent the next 4 years at UVa’s Army ROTC program and commissioned as a 2LT upon graduation. As a part of Army tradition, each 2LT gets to choose who will give them their first salute. I was more than honored and thankful to have you, SGM Uncle Wayne, since you had been such an instrumental part of my decision to serve. I truly thought the story would end there with a nice, short, sweet salute between us, but the story didn’t end – it was only just beginning.
When I think back on some of the most impactful experiences of my life, I have you to thank for many of them. I often reflect on the 3 years spent assigned to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center taking care of some of the most wounded service members coming from Iraq and Afghanistan. I think of the incredible opportunity to travel all over Europe and make lifelong memories with my best friends and closest family. I think of when I was deployed to Afghanistan and got to see some of the bravest men and women continue to persevere after devastating injuries.
So I guess you’re wondering why I’m talking about me and MY story when this is really about YOU and the celebration of YOUR Army story. Well, here’s why. You see if it weren’t for YOU and your story, I wouldn’t have my story to tell now. I owe many of my biggest life lessons and experiences to you and your example of selfless service to your country and loyalty to your assignment as a senior non-commissioned officer. It started with a simple conversation when I was 17 years old. That story of yours will always be a part of my own.
I am so thankful for the love and support you and Aunt Lori have shown me over the last 10 years – from taking me to pick out my first uniform, to visiting me not once but TWICE while I was living in Europe, to sending me care packages of Nutella and banana bread – you both have been there each step of the way.
And yes – maybe I wrongfully started writing this letter specifically to you, Uncle Wayne. I should have included Aunt Lori. I know you have not done these last 4o years in the military in isolation. I am so thankful for an aunt who has supported you, sacrificed with you, provided you strength, and unconditional love so you could do all you have for our country. Aunt Lori, for that and so many other reasons, we love you!
Uncle Wayne, you will likely never see, meet, or even know all the people you have impacted with your integrity and personal courage. So I hope this weekend and always, this letter (and the many others you have received) can serve as a representation of the undefinable impact you have had on the Army, your units, but most of all the soldiers and people you have worked for and with along the way.
So, in closing – a big congratulations to you and Lori. Thank you for all you’ve sacrified, given, and impacted over the last 4 decades.
All my love,
Kristie
an open letter to God’s newest angel
Miranda, our beautiful niece,
My goodness, how life has changed in the last two weeks. That Thursday, as I sat at work, your Tió Jeremy called me. I heard it in his quivering voice as he struggled to tell me through his own tears…. there was a school bus accident that morning in New Jersey. You were on that bus. You didn’t make it. I immediately screamed, “NO!” I repeated it over and over as my own tears fell down my face. I tried to catch my breath. Most of that afternoon is a blur. We quickly packed and got into the car to be with everyone in Jersey. Your Tió and I half expected it to be a huge mistake, knowing you would jump out at Grandma and Grandpa’s house yelling “Hi Tití! Hi Tió!” and give us cute kisses on both our cheeks.
The car ride was filled with us thinking of all the ways the information we received could be wrong. Maybe you felt sick that day and decided not to go to Waterloo Village on the field trip. Maybe you were on one of the other two buses that arrived safely back to school, but they hadn’t found you yet. Miranda, we prayed so hard to hear someone tell us this was all a huge mistake. When we got to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, you didn’t greet us at the top of the stairs with one of your big hugs. We were greeted instead, with an intense and overwhelming sadness. There were tears on top of more tears. There was shock. The whole scene was surreal. Even then, we still waited for you to be drinking a grape soda in the kitchen or to join us on the couch, or to be doing splits in the middle of the floor. You never came.
That morning, we woke up to the loudest emptiness we have ever heard and our hearts have ever felt. There was something missing. There was grief and mourning all around us, and yet I still continued to pray there had been some mistake. The hospital would call and apologize for the awful inconvenience and tell us to come pick you up so we could go shopping with Grandma and start looking for summer clothes and swimsuits. We were all planning to spend Memorial Day weekend at Grandma and Grandpa’s pool and grilling out. But the hospital didn’t call to say any of that. Instead, social media and news outlets were filled with even more confirmation of the fatal bus crash that took your life. The pictures were everywhere, the chassis of the bus completely ripped off. The sound clips of 911 dispatch were already circulating. Everything started to feel a little too real.
I spent the weekend scrolling through all the photos I have of you in my phone, searching for that one video I love of you and Lilly dancing in the living room. I wanted to see your smile, your elegance, your sincere love of your cousin, sister, family, and friends. I kept looking at your photos, somehow hoping the longer I stared at you, the better chance I would have to hear the doorbell ring and you have you walk in with your elegant, long french braid swinging around you and an off-the-shoulder dress because the weather was getting warmer.
Instead, we donned our black attire to make our way to the funeral home for your viewing. Even still, we fought the idea that you could be gone forever, that we wouldn’t ever have you come put your hand to our ear to whisper, “Tití, Tió….” and share a fun moment from school or the latest YouTube video. But then I saw you. Miranda, you were showing off for us, little lady. You have always been stunningly beautiful, but this day – you took my breath away. In the same instance I saw your gorgeous face, it also hit me. You were laying lifeless. It didn’t change your beauty, but it forced the realization that you were gone and no matter how hard I tried to combat the reality of the situation, I would have to start processing a new normal without you in it.
How I wish I could change anything, something about all of this for everyone in our family. There is pain and heartbreak and really, no words could ever encompass the emotion surrounding losing you in our family. When I married your Tió Jeremy, I got a few new titles and one of my favorites was “Tití.” I certainly haven’t known you as long as most in the family or even spent the most time with you, but Miranda, that’s the thing. Regardless of the amount of time, you had a supernatural way of bringing joy to people and peace to any room. You have instilled that joy and peace into the world and will live on here with and through us. My grief and longing for you is evidence of who you were, baby girl.
At Thanksgiving last year, you told me you wanted me to go see the movie Wonder. You said it was “amazing” and had a really good message. You even took my phone so you could show me the trailer online. You also told me the movie was a book and if you remember, I promised I would watch the movie with you as soon as I read the book. At Lilly’s birthday in December, you asked me again… “Tití, did you ever read Wonder?” I still hadn’t. First, I want to say I’m sorry. It took me too long to get to the book because…I thought we had plenty of time left together down here. I have learned my lesson. Our time together is never promised. However, I think God had me wait to read this book now so I could be reminded of the message you left with us through your life. Secondly, you were right. It’s a GREAT story! I only wish we could have watched the movie together.
I couldn’t help but think of you when I was reading the speech Auggie’s principal gives at the end of the school year to the class. Miranda, always know the very storyline of Wonder that you loved was the way YOU lived your life. It is the example you left for all of us.
“If every single person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, wherever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary– the world would be a better place. And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”
Thank you, Miranda, for showing us all what it looks like to be kind, to love people well, to serve the least of these, to bring joy wherever we go, and remind us that it’s not about the volume of our voices, but the sincerity of our actions. I love you, sweet niece. I will miss getting your texts just to say hi and our Facetime calls to swap ideas about making slime. I will miss every new hairstyle you tried out on me after we put Lilly down to sleep at night during our visits to Jersey. I will miss you constantly challenging me to try and put my leg behind my neck because you always could. I will miss watching you be a little mommy to Lilly and throwing water balloons at Jeremiah. And I will always miss how incredibly happy you made your Tió whenever he saw you.
We went through a million photos trying to choose some of our favorites. It was impossible, but here are a couple for your scrapbook up in heaven. I hope they give you the same smile and full heart that they give us when we think of all our fun times together. Until we make memories again forever – fly high sweet one. -J, K, J, & L
(Photo by Shanen Weaver @ Heritage Photography)
highight reel 2017: digging in and digging deep
Photo by @brucieinspired1000 days
Jeremy and I said “I do” exactly 1000 days ago. Sometimes I look back and it feels like I blinked and we are here. Other times, I reflect on all the individual memories and it feels like we’ve been married a few lifetimes already. If you know me at all, you know I LOVE celebrating, no matter the reason. I love an excuse to have friends gather together, to honor others, and reflect on the past. So about 2 years ago, I wrote a post celebrating all I had learned in those short 6 months being married. After 1000 days, I thought I would do the same – celebrate a new milestone and share reflections about what I’ve learned since that first year of marriage, hoping it may bless your own relationship right now or in the future.
- I didn’t marry myself. Surprise! Jeremy is totally NOT the same person as I am. We casually joked about it on our wedding programs by pointing out our hometown size differences (Jeremy’s had 85,390 and mine had 520 people), but those superficial fun facts are not the only parts of us that are on opposite ends of a spectrum. For example, being outside fills me up. My heart is happy when I’m hiking, running, or sitting on the porch with a glass of tea or wine. Jeremy on the other hand, would choose being inside over outside at all times. Guys, for real. He’s a legitimate mosquito magnet. I’ve never seen anything like it. We are on the deck for a few seconds and the guy gets 12 bites. When I realized we wouldn’t be enjoying our patio furniture nearly as much as I hoped, the world stopped spinning for a few moments. (Let’s be honest. I threw a hissy fit in my head for much longer.) But then I remembered this little trick I learned in preschool. It’s called compromise. So instead of making plans for long stents of mosquito exposure, I focus on activities he enjoys that require nature. He’s a snowboarder. I love the mountains. PERFECTO! We will do winter sports together. Learning each other and creating a life of memories has been one of the my favorite parts of this journey together.
- Accept all forms of payment/investment. Yeah, I mean it. Love {investments} can come in the form of kisses, foot rubs, flowers after work, breakfast in bed, filling a gas tank, driving 200 miles to see your friend get married, boasting about your grilling skills to all their friends, fixing a broken garbage disposal, letting you choose the Netflix show, telling you how hot you look for the interview, listening to you vent about your day without interrupting, or sharing their last bite of ice cream. In our house, for the past few weeks, Jeremy has been tirelessly tearing down wallpaper, ripping up laminate flooring, painting, and laying tile for a complete renovation of our bathroom. I can promise you he is not doing this because the textured wallpaper drove HIM crazy. He’s doing it because it drove ME crazy. And because he loves me. So, no. We have not been going to extravagant date nights the past month because… well… the bathroom. He’s loving me through service. He’s loving me through his actions. And I am okay with that. I haven’t been perfect, but I remind myself to look around at the ways Jeremy is honoring and loving me in our daily life, not getting hung up on not having that one thing or comparing your spouse to a spouse who loves differently. Be intentional about finding the special ways your spouse loves you. If you haven’t read this book on the love languages, take the time! It is well worth it.
- Be their biggest cheerleader. This sounds cliche, but just let me explain. You see, people are always saying this type of thing, but they leave out a few details that often become hang-ups later on. Two years ago, I encouraged Jeremy to finish a degree he started almost a decade ago. I was pulling out all the stops, affirming him in every way I knew how… and he enrolled in school. Woo! I was so excited! Then, something happened. He took this statistics class and this class ATE my husband. I was frustrated because I lost my partner to binge on forensics shows (my guilty pleasure). Not to mention, I was doing so. much. laundry… without his help. And if you ask him, he will tell you I let him know I was frustrated. More than once. Then he softly reminded me we both wanted him to be successful at the pursuit of this dream, that I was a pivotal piece of his decision to return back to school, and he couldn’t do it without my help. This required me to pick up my pompoms and support him with more than just my words. He needed my practical support doing more than usual around the house and allowing him the time/space to focus on assignments. It’s easy to simply affirm, but are we actually using actions to back up our words? Are we making ourselves uncomfortable for the good of our spouse and our family? Sometimes, that’s what it takes. And guess what? This summer, surrounded by friends and family, we celebrated the end of a chapter – Jeremy finished his degree! It was worth every extra laundry load. Now we’ve switched roles and he’s picking up my slack while I am in grad school…
- Beat ’em at cornhole. If there were one lesson I’ve learned over these last 1000 days, it is that marriage was meant to be fun. Some of my favorite memories are of Jeremy and I randomly playing Trouble on a weeknight or competing against each other during March Madness for the best bracket. (No big deal, but I’m on a two year win streak at the moment.) Life is stressful. There are hard days, but if I’ve been blessed with a partner to walk through life, I want to enjoy it to the fullest!
- Hard right over the easy wrong. Jeremy and I danced to “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz as our first dance. On purpose. There is always the option to give up. Or… there is never the option to give up. We chose the latter. We have decided that giving up is never an option and no matter our disagreements about if we should watch the Yankees or Nats or if date nights need to be a unique every week or if kids should use electronics before age 2. At the end of the day, we will work it out. It’s hard. Some days I don’t feel like I even have the energy to have a hard conversation. I don’t feel like making the effort. As a Second Lieutenant in the Army, my motto was “Hard right over the easy wrong.” My friends poked fun at me, but what’s right is not always easy. Choosing what’s right is not always comfortable. We won’t feel like doing it, but it is worth it.
Photo Credit: Jay Bruce @bruceinspired
{This message was approved and supported by Jeremy before posting.}