3 Reasons Why Great Girlfriends Aren’t Optional
Have you ever had those moments (or even seasons) of life where you feel like nothing is stable and you can’t quite see straight to move forward? It’s kind of like being in an earthquake and a summer thunderstorm all at the same time. The ground is shaky and when you look out in front of you, everything is blurry. Next steps are scary. Yeah, well that’s sort of been the last two months for me. It made me start thinking about what brings me back to solid ground and helps me see clearly to move forward in faith.
Note: If you don’t know already, I’m a newlywed. Yup, got married January 18th and we’re coming up on our five month anniversary. We are basically marriage experts at this stage. Ha! We are far from experts, but we’re having a blast learning a LOT! One quick tidbit I picked up was that although my husband Jeremy is obviously the greatest man to walk the planet (I may be biased) and my very best friend, there are meant to be special ladies in my life and men in his life to walk beside us and support us. Bottom line: If you’re married, you’re not exempt. A depth and richness to the daily comings and goings are fostered by sharing our experiences and challenges with our closest girlfriends. In fact, I would arguably say healthy relationships with our girlfriends enrich our marriages.
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, a novelist and poet, once described friendship:
“But oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
So why are girlfriends not optional?
1) Safety/Support – Two weeks ago, I was feeling the struggle of what I call becoming #instamom. What is that you may ask? *Instamom: Any woman who has never had their own children and marries a man with some of his own from previous relationships who become part of their little family instantaneously. Don’t get me wrong. There are countless blessings I plan to tell you about blended families, but suffice it to say – it is also a transition just like anything else. Thankfully, my time as an RN has granted me experience in the area of children. However, it doesn’t teach you how to navigate all the needs of a child in the midst of their own transition. (Don’t worry. More on life a a stepmom later.) Needless to say, I was exhausted. One of my closest friends texted to check in. I explained my situation. Within MINUTES, she had requested and received permission to take a half-day off to spend with me to help, not because I asked, but because she could hear what wasn’t being verbally communicated: I needed her support. I needed to feel the safety of her friendship. Do you have women in your life who will do whatever it takes to lift you up when you’re feeling tired, beat down, frustrated, or confused? Do you extend the same faithfulness to the special ladies in your own life?
2) Encouragement – For years, I’ve talked about writing more. I finally let the cat out of the bag and told my closest girlfriends about feeling like I should begin investing time in a blog. These same ladies have not only sent me texts and emails to ask how it’s going, they have contributed to the blog through their own gifts to ensure they know they are fully behind me. Do you have women in who push you to go further? To follow the dreams in your heart? To encourage you to look past the struggle of today and fulfill your purpose of tomorrow?
3) Accountability – What difference does it make if you have a goal or dream if no one knows about it? Have you ever told your girlfriends (or anyone for that matter) what you feel your purpose is in life? One of the most challenging aspects of friendship is allowing yourself to be vulnerable and authentic with the people closest to you. Without your transparency, there remains an invisible wall between you and other people. Tear down the wall. Share your passions with people. Timothy Keller says, “Friendship is only possible when there is a common vision and passion.” Do you have ladies (or again, anyone) you allow into the deeper parts of your heart? Does someone hold you responsible to your promises, words, and actions? Do you push others to be true to own their goals?
Don’t wait! Let those invisible walls down, share your heart in a real way, and invest in those ladies around you. Don’t know how to do that? Stay tuned! And if you’re ever in the Northern Virginia area, check out DC Sisterhood, a great way to get connected to other amazing women.
P.S. You also need them for comic relief (and to photobomb your wedding photos) obviously!
