“That’s not happening to me.”
Recently, I had the privilege of going back to my hometown to visit with my grandmother (lovingly called “Gram” by yours truly) during an especially difficult time. A few weeks back, she was diagnosed with lymphoma and was set to begin chemotherapy the day after I arrived. As I traveled south on 29, my mind wandered to other memories with my grandmother – banana milkshakes after school, having “coffee” (more like cream and sugar with a dab of coffee) together on the weekends when I would spend the night there as a child, prom dress shopping, and most recently – bridal gown shopping. She was any granddaughter’s dream: loving, available, and ready to spoil my brother and I rotten whenever she could!
But, I realized I had never seen my grandmother sick before. In fact, I realized I had never seen my grandmother anything but happy and that left me with a mystery: How would my grandmother respond to cancer?
The next morning, my mom set off early to take Gram to her first session of chemotherapy. My job was to pick up my grandfather a bit later in the morning from my grandparents’ house and bring him to see Gram after a few hours. Upon our arrival at the clinic, my mom met us at the door. I was almost afraid of what she might say. She was quick to reassure us everything was going well and that Gram was a trooper. Then she told us this little story. That morning, Gram’s nurse gave her an additional obligatory warning about chemotherapy including all the possible side effects. For those who may not know, they include but are not limited to fatigue, pain, sores, hair loss, blood disorders, and even death. As the nurse rambled off and finished this long list, she looked up at my grandmother and said, “Any questions?” Gram defiantly responded, “That’s not happening to me.”
Let me repeat what she said, “That’s not happening to me.” Those five words got me thinking. How often am I met with a challenge where I respond in the same way? Frequently, people will approach my husband and I to ask how our newlywed season is going… Sometimes without even a pause to hear our answer, they respond with, “Just wait until the honeymoon phase is over! Everything changes.” Or people who see our little toddler with us and say, “Oh, just wait until she turns two. She will throw a tantrum about everything.” Or a friend will ask about work, “How’s the new job going? I’ve heard that place is crazy.” Or you’re moving to a new area as a single person and someone says, “That’s a terrible place to date. The people there are all {fill in the blank with your favorite “non-spouse material” adjective}.
But what if instead of expecting the worst or believing what is spoken around us, we were expectant for God’s BEST? What if we defiantly said, “That’s not happening to me.” (Maybe more appropriately whispered in your heart and not out loud, but hey – maybe it needs to be voiced!) What if we believed for greatness in the years after our first year of marriage and the growth of our children and the job God has selected for us and the spouse He has already picked out? What if we said NO to the “side effects” and YES to God’s promises of His plan and our future in it?
And can I give you one more challenge? Can we believe this for our WORLD and not just for our own lives? So often I hear, “I can’t believe what the world has come to now” or “With all this change, the worst is yet to come.” Let’s speak LIFE over our lives and our nation. Let’s believe not the worst, but the BEST is yet to come.
That afternoon when the chemo finally stopped, Gram took a deep breath, said “I will NOT be nauseous when I stand up” and walked out of that room without one bit of help (and NO nausea!). Thank you Gram, for solving the mystery of how you would respond to a challenge and reminding me of my own ability to respond with faith and hope instead of fear and defeat. I sure am grateful I come from a line of persevering, faith-filled, and God-serving women!