The Greatest Gift My Father Gave Me
I always get nostalgic around Father’s Day, going through a mental photo album of the special times with my dad. Summer vacations to the beach, teaching me to ride a bike or make a snowman, going to see the Orioles play at Camden Yards, pitching softballs to me in the batting cages until it was too dark to see, eating cereal together before school… If someone asked me to pick my favorite memory, I’m not sure I could. Until this year. Something changed and I realized my absolute favorite memory of my dad is not one moment in time, but that I have a HISTORY of moments with him. Let me explain.
You see, the greatest gift my father ever gave to me was faithfulness. From the time he said “I do” up until this very day, he has done everything in his power to support my brother, my mom, and I. He knew that when he said “yes” in marriage, he was saying “yes” to whatever God’s hand held for our family moving forward. So what did that mean for him specifically? Well, from what I hear, it meant going to get Beanie Weanies after 10pm to feed pregnancy cravings (geez, Mom…making some healthy choices back in the day!), working more than one job for longer than I can remember to provide for us, staying up late to throw batting practice for my brother and I and then waking up early to start his day before the house was awake, switching careers to make himself more available to take us to church, motivating me to conquer my fear of heights by sliding down (WITH ME) on the biggest water slide I’ve ever seen to this day, and telling me “no” a number of times during my teenage years to my extreme disdain.
But the one fact remains. From infancy to now adulthood, there has never been a time when I didn’t feel his love or know he was there to catch me if I were falling. Let me not give you the wrong idea. We had some …we’ll say HEATED discussions (he always won) and very difficult phases of life mostly because of my poor choices, but he loved me through it all. He has believed in me since the beginning and he’s still believing in me today.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Who really cares about faithfulness?” I will tell you I certainly do and here’s why:
If not for the way my father modeled what it looks like to love my mother well, to prioritize our needs and interests, to not pick and choose when to be part of our family, and to invest in my brother and I, my idea of a real man would be incredibly… jacked up. And I would take that idea of a “man” around with me, using it to measure all other men. Then, I’d probably select a husband based on that “man.”
Instead, I have this imperfect, but incredibly faithful father figure to help me see the qualities of a healthy man. This year, I was able to see that even more clearly when I married my husband Jeremy. For some reason, other men in my life never made the cut, but Jeremy did. People talk about an “it” factor or just knowing a man is “the one.” I believe my husband is most certainly “the one” and he has lots of “it” factors, but most of all, he loves me well, prioritizes our needs and interests, is present as part of our family, invests in our children… all of which sound a lot like my father…
Dad, THANK YOU. Thank you for being faithful. And present. And modeling what it looks like to lead a family so now, as Jeremy and I embark on our own journey together, we have your example to carry with us. The foundation you have laid will continue to hold us on this adventure of love. All my love now and forever.
